My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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