i think my mom watched the whole time
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Randomize
