sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
