alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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