I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
i've created a new STD.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
