I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I'm always down for nudity.
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