I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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