We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Farmville is her only friend.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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