I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
