so explain again why im purple
no
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
