I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I just found puke in my bra..
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize