I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
