I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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