the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
