it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
