plz talk dirty to me
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
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