Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
