Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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