we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize