Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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