scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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