Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
