you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Holy sore nipples Batman
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
