he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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