She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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