Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I need to calm my uterus...
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
