There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
