Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
