I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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