is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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