How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Randomize
