Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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