it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Drake has all the answers
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
