Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
