You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
