U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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