i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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