I want to stick my p in your. b.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
