its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
