Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
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