i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
