No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
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