I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
