I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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