Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
