I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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