very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I believe in your delicious
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