we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
