Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
