are you still at the devil's house?
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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