Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
