In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
do nipples grow back?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
