Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
