We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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