Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
He better not be in your backpack
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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