My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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