yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
