so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
