yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize