It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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